How to write a memoir - starting points
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A memoir can be about your whole life or any part of it you want to write about. Let's look at a few possible starting points.
1. Start with a date. In 1975 a friend and I bought an abandoned white clapboard prairie church in a tiny village in Saskatchewan for $300. I've got a lot to say about that. It is a good starting point for the memoir of a 23 year period of my life. What is your most significant date?
2. Start with an experience. Is there an experience in your life that you continue to tell stories about, that draws you to look at it from many different angles? I had a friend who spent time in northern Ontario as a guard in a detention camp for Germans during the World War II and he told many, many stories about it. That would have been a good starting point for his memoir.
3. Start with an event. Where were you and what were you doing the day JFK was shot? What impact did Neil Armstrong's space walk have on you--did you watch it on TV, with whom? What other major historical event became a marker in your life story? Start with that.
4. Start with a significant person, or mentor. We've all had people in our lives who made a huge difference. Was yours a high school teacher, a family friend, someone you met in odd circumstances you will never forget and that forever changed you? Start with that.
5. Start with a photograph. When I wrote my first memoir I used a collection of photographs I had which recorded aspects of my childhood. I sorted them by first collecting them in one place, then putting aside anything that caused an emotional response or ripple. That was a great starting point.
6. Start with a significant and persistent memory. Certain memories haunt us, because they are turning points in our development or a crossroads we have never forgotten. They make a good starting point, even if they aren't all that positive, on the principle that it isn't the cards you are dealt that are important, but what you do with them, and even more important, what you learn.
7. Start anywhere. Start with a conversation, an image from a magazine, anything that sets off a memory chain you can follow, or just start noodling in a notebook to see what comes to the surface. The critical thing is to Start!
How to start writing
So how do we go about writing a memoir or any other major writing project?
An obvious first step is to get a comfortable pen and a notebook you like. Yes you can work at a computer if you choose, but that limits you to the location of the either the computer or a power outlet. A notebook and pen are infinitely more portable. Some times portable is essential.
The second step is to give yourself permission. What, I need permission to write my own story? Yes, you do: permission from your self. Sometimes that's not so easy to get either and often we need to keep reminding ourselves that in fact we have given that permission.
The third step is to allow yourself to suck at this, really seriously suck! Anne Lamott who is so much more elegant at describing this calls the first attempt "a shitty first draft". You need to give youself permission for that too, allowing yourself not to be perfect or anywhere near perfect, to get it down on paper, whatever the heck it looks like. Anne Lamott has wise words for that as well: "...the first draft is the down draft--you just get it down. The second draft is the up draft--you fix it up." It might be a good idea to put these three quotes on your fridge or near your computer so you will be constantly reminded of them.
The fourth and perhaps most difficult part of writing a memoir is showing up at the page and scribbling something, anything. I believe it is often so challenging because we each have an on-call troll who is sure to make such loving remarks as 'you know what they (who are they?) will say about that?'; 'who do you think you are?'; 'you're not a writer you know'; 'you realize nobody will ever read this?' and various other attack gems in its repertoire, the sole purpose of which are to freeze your pen hand and not let a single word or thought escape your brain. You'll need to develop some strategies for troll herding and control, and I'll talk about that in another post.
Memoir Creator
Memoir Creator:
Changing the world one story at a time.
What is Memoir Creator?
Memoir Creator helps you write your own life stories
Memoir Creator is your solution when you:
- don't know where to start writing
- are not sure how to go about it
- feel the task is too big
- are struggling to maintain motivation
- need help with writing techniques
- would like help with the tough bits
Personal Memoir Coaching
Personal Memoir Coaching is a working phone call, Skype call or in person consultation
- Telephone consultation
- pre-paid phone consultation available in 1 hour and 1.5 hours segments
- individual or group arrangements as required
- you will be given a number to call at a time that works for both of us. Memoir Creator is in the Atlantic time zone.
- you may submit your questions by email before the call (encouraged, but up to you)
- pre-paid phone consultation available in 1 hour and 1.5 hours segments
- Skype consultation
- pre-paid consultation available in 1 hour or 1.5 hours segments
- a time will be arranged that works for both of us.
- you may submit your questions by email before the call
- pre-paid consultation available in 1 hour or 1.5 hours segments
- Email consultation and support
- prepaid subscription, weekly or monthly rates (TBA)
- prepaid subscription, weekly or monthly rates (TBA)
- In person consultation
- available when feasible (you are in my area or I am in yours), contact me for further information
- available when feasible (you are in my area or I am in yours), contact me for further information
- Project design consultation
- contact me for information
- contact me for information
Memoir Coaching Fees are based on $125 per hour. A 90 minute consultation is $175.
Memoir or Legacy Portfolio?
Memoir: your stories told in your own voice. A memoir may be written, spoken as an audio CD, or a video record.
A memoir can be about anything in your life, significant events, projects, people, hobbies, travel. You may choose to write your whole life story or some important part of it. What you choose to write about is up to you. A memoir also varies in length, again, that's up to you. If you say what you want to say in 30 pages, that's fine. If it takes you 250 pages to get everything you want into your memoir, that's also fine.
Legacy Portfolio: a comprehensive collection of documents, memorabilia, anecdotes and stories of a life.
A Legacy Portfolio is a good first step toward creating a written, audio or video memoir. The Legacy Portfolio can be paper or electronic, depending on your preferences. A Legacy Portfolio can also be a scrapbook, including stories or short blurbs of the photographs and documents you include.
What is a Memoir?
A good working definition of the difference between memoir and autobiography:
"A memoir is how one remembers one's own life...while an autobiography is history requiring research, dates, facts double-checked."
from: Gore Vidal, Palimpsest
Memoir Creator is:
What is a Legacy Portfolio?
A Legacy Portfolio is a collection of documents and artifacts from your life.
Documents might include:
- copies of birth, graduation and marriage records; family tree/geneaology
- certificates and licenses
- letters of recognition, awards and citations
- newspaper articles related to you or your activities
- records or photographs of
- accomplishments
- homes and vehicles
- hobbies and interests
- vacations
